valley
its hard to praise and give glory to God in the valley. during the struggles and hardships of this short temporary existence on earth. sometimes I ask myself, “how the hell did I let myself get into this situation?” or “what am I supposed to do now?”
Romans 8:28-30
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.
Pastor Richard Oh gave me this as his definition of what peace is when I asked him. Looked over it once to understand what he said. looked over it again when i told the praise team on what peace is. this is my third time seeing it again this month for my own good. Peace. How am I supposed to understand being predestined, called, justified, and glorified with such a small mindset? HOW DARE I sin and wonder what the hell happened. HOW DARE I look to other things in my life for peace. God is watching over me and yet I ignore such things and choose to wallow in self-pity for not being a better student, man, and son of God. God chose me. God WILL use me. and yet, its so hard to relinquish whatever imaginary control i think i may have.
it may be hard but I need to change my attitude on what is hard for me, because with the backing of God there is no such thing as hard. God said to trust him and put my anxieties before his feet. its because of my sin, which is DEAD, that i can’t seem to give up my control. this is what should comfort me. and yet in the dead of the night when things seem to pile upon my mind i find it so hard. this song takes the words right out of my mouth.
I’ve got something to say
It’s been one of those days
When I’m finding it hard to believe in You
I’ve got something to say
I’ve forgotten how to pray
And I’m finding it hard to believe the truth
I’ve got something to say
Right now it feels like You are slipping away
Like I am drowning in a crisis of faith
Like I’m alone
I’ve got something to say
What was black and white is gray
And I’m finding it hard to believe in You
I’ve got something to say
Right now it feels like You are slipping away
Like I am drowning in a crisis of faith
Like I’m alone
And faith might mean there won’t be answers
And hope might mean enduring through the night
But help me not forget in darkness
The things that I believed in light
I’ve got something to say
Right now it feels like You are slipping away
Like I am drowning in a crisis of faith
Like I was found, but now I’m lost in the fray
I’ve got something to say
It’s been one of those days
When I’m finding it hard to believe in You
